Big balls.

You know how sometimes things that seem very different from each other really aren't? 

For instance, love and hate seem like opposite ends of the spectrum, but in reality, they're two sides of the same coin. You have to really care about someone to love them or hate them. There's passion involved with both. 

The reality is that the opposite of love is indifference. No feeling at all. 

I wonder if courage and coward are like that. 

You literally started living with another woman, in another state, moved with her three times, started a totally new existence and did not tell a single soul where you were. You lied to everyone you knew. (Except for the brief period in NC when you told me about the grading company.) For all practcial purposes, you disappeared totally and fell off the face of the earth, while building a totally new life in complete hiding. 

You either have the biggest balls of anyone I know or you are the biggest coward I have ever met. Or maybe it's a bit of both. 

The only thing I know for sure is that it must really, really suck to live that way. Or to think you have to. Whenever you decide to be you again, with a few new dings and dents, please let us know. As of right now, there is no indifference here.