Looking for solid ground.

 I don't know if you'll ever see this. But since I found your photo with her online, my world has been in a freefall. One photo led to literally hundreds of hours searching your name, her name, addresses, public records, social media, emails and so much more. 

Why? Because I was so shocked, so surprised, so incredibly stunned, that I needed to find answers. A reason. A cause.

Some solid ground. 

Solid ground from where I could begin to build a little scaffolding that would help me claw my way back to the surface. I was almost certain you'd never talk to me again, so I had to find it on my own.

Full truth, I'm not there yet. But I'm closer than I was. 

The only way I could stop my head from spinning was to start writing. I've been writing a lot ... some good and some bad. Some where I'm mad and you're an asshole and some where I tell you how much I miss and love you and always will. There's no rhyme or reason for it. No order for what pops into my head that day. They aren't edited. They aren't chronological. They're just me. As raw as it gets. 

And they are only for you. 

Later today or maybe tomorrow, I'm going to share this web address with you, and only you. You can take a look if you want to or ignore it if you need to. 


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