You lied.

You lied.

You lied.

You lied.

Every single time you talked to me. Every single time you texted me.

Every damn time.

For about 4 years.

Every minute, every second you didn’t tell me the truth, you lied.

You’re still lying.

Job interview in Iowa my ass. I helped you pack to go live with her.

“I don’t love her. I’m not going with her to Texas.” Let me translate that. “We’re keeping our house here and she’ll commute. I’m not leaving her like I made it sound.”

I’m loading, unloading, broke down, out of hours, on my way home, in Milwaukee, feeling better, trying to get home to you, in a bad cell phone area, rejected at unload … it goes on and on.

I love you. Love you me. I miss you. There is no her. I couldn’t do that to you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You KNEW what I was thinking. You KNEW how I interpreted all of it. You slept in her bed and you told me you loved me.

Who does that? What kind of person does that?

How could you do that to me? Me? The one person on the planet who had given you everything and believed in you more than anyone ever had.

You get to not be in love with me anymore. You get to change your mind.

But only a complete asshole lies to someone for four years.

So were you just lying then or are you lying now, too? What lies do you tell her? Someone should warn her.

How do you know when you’re lying to yourself? You have to live with yourself. You have to look yourself in the mirror every day. You KNOW the truth. You can’t run from it. It defines who you are. And it’s going to eat you up from the inside. You can run away and ignore it. You can stuff it down and pretend it’s not there. The truth is there.  

It’s there.

You didn’t leave everyone and everything in your life because you fell out of love with me. If that’s all it was, this would have been over a long time ago. You are lying to yourself right now. And you can’t run from that.

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