What is true?

You keep talking about the idea that we were not communicating. Missing each other. That you felt all alone. 

I don't remember that time the same way. 

I remember Bella's treatment as terrifying. I remember turning to you because I needed your support. I clung to you like a life preserver, because I couldn't float on my own. 

I was so grateful for your strength and for your willingness to be my salvation. I told you how much I needed you. You told me you'd always hold me up. 

So why didin't you turn to me when you felt that you needed a life preserver? 

And why are you blaming me for that? 

You were supposed to turn to me when you were scared and lonely and confused. 

But instead, you hid information about the business. You lied to me about the state of our relationship. 

And then you chose to turn to someone else to find comfort. 

YOU CHOSE THAT. 

Then you blamed me for not being there. 

I didn't even know you needed me. How would I know if you didn't tell me? 

That pisses me off so much. 

You turned to someone else. You let that be your healing place. You left me and you got out of the habit of me and us. 

For four years, you let me whither on the vine and then you blamed me for not being healthy and strong. 

You told me that you didn't love me like you used to. How could you? You haven't spent any time with me and you have given your heart to someone else. 

Part of me wants to demand you come home for four years and then see how you feel about her at the end of that time. Let her get mad at you for not being there. Let her cry and beg. Let her feel desperate and lonely. Leave her a big mess to clean up and see how she responds ... all while I'm loving you and building you up and telling you how great you are. 

How does it feel to have these two wonderful women wanting you? Is that actually the point of all of this? You need the ego builder? 

Fuck you. 

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