You decided.

You decided to not tell me what was going on when you'd made a few bad decisions with the business and had a few things just flat out go wrong, through no fault of your own. 

You decided to keep all of that information to yourself ... bottle it up and let it drive you crazy. 

You decided you already knew how I'd respond. You knew I'd be mad. You knew I'd yell. You knew I'd be disappointed. 

You decided to look for a way out. 

And you found one. 

So then you decided to leave me. You decided to walk away from your life. You decided to save your own ass and to screw the rest of us. 

At first, I think you talked yourself into believing that you were doing this for me, for Kati, for those you left behind. You were protecting us from the awfulness of you. You knew you were hurting us and you didn't want to hurt us anymore. 

Once upon a time when I was badgering you about your saddles, you said you had to get them out of the house because they didn't "deserve" to be there. 

This is the part of you that scares me. You can't even tell when you're lying to yourself. 

You knew how much I loved you. You knew that the only way through the fire was to come clean and ask for help. Maybe you thought the odds were small that we'd make it to the other side. 

But instead of giving me a chance to decide for myself ... you just decided on your own. 

Which means you didn't really love me or you didn't want to anymore. Be honest about that. 

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